I recently was part of a great conversation on how to deal with all the pain in the world. What do we do when it gets so overwhelming?

Many acknowledged there’s always been bad news, but until social media, it wasn’t always on our radar. We used to read the paper in the morning and watch the news at night.

Now? If we choose, our brains and hearts are filled with tragedy, conflict, violence and hate just about any time we glance at social media.

Were our hearts designed to take in as much pain and hate as we are? I don’t think so. At least, I don’t think we’re meant to take in all this pain and simply hold it. That’s why it feels like we’re hitting our limits. We talked about how much we need to put down our phones. Our brains and hearts literally cannot handle this much information.

So where’s the hope? What do we do?

We are to look straight at the world’s pain. We see the pictures of survivors, house wreckages, aftermath of violence, and we feel what rises in us. Anger, fear, pain, frustration, hopelessness. We actually feel it for ourselves, and for the people physically going through the situation. This can be a form of prayer. Open up a bible to the middle, and you’ll likely land in the Psalms. Read a couple of those after you read the news.

Some of us stop here. We offer our thoughts and prayers and feel like there’s nothing we can do to change the bigger stories.The pain and anger fill us up. We try to cope with all the feelings and we shouldn’t be surprised when they turn into anxiety, depression, avoidance, numbing, checking out and addiction to whatever made it feel better for a minute.

Or we go the other way and we become an activist. We share our opinions, march in the streets, attend rallies and contact our leaders. We turn our rage into action. This is good, until it’s not, because we can’t possibly sustain this for years. The cup will run dry, especially if the protest is only out of anger, and not out of hope of what could be.

Author and activist Glennon Doyle has been saying lately, “It’s not just about fight or flight, there’s a third word in these times. Invite.”

I know about the fight. We resist and speak out in big and small ways.

I know about the flight. I run away and hide from the news on a daily basis.

I’m learning about the invite. This is personal. The invite turns the larger narrative that feels too big to change into something I can do here and now, in my community, today.

Who are you feeling the nudge to get to know? To hear a new story, a new perspective, to curiously wonder if your way of seeing it isn’t the only way?

Maybe it’s time we put down our phones and had more real-life conversations.

This new reality in our country is calling us out of ourselves. To new and more honest conversations about race, violence, gender equality, guns, patriarchy, discrimination and what it means to be a citizen. The conversations are not pretty. They’re awkward. But there’s something rising in the spaces of these connections. Is it awareness? Hope? Appreciation for another perspective? I’m not sure yet. But I sense it, and it gives me hope.

So this is for my friends who are trying to find ground to stand when it feels like the bottom fell out.

Show up and feel the pain. As Jesus people, we don’t get to walk away. We walk into it with a deep hope that it’s never the end. New life is coming.

Then put your phone down. Get quiet. Listen to the voice of the One who made you. Who whispers in the quiet what is most true. Listening to this voice has a way of releasing pain. You learn to hold the pain with a deeper love.

Love the people in front of you that day. Build beautiful communities of hope, grace and love. Resist hate in ways that make you come alive. Invite new friends into new conversations.

Our hearts are taking in a lot. We’re all hurting in our own ways. Be kind to yourself and each other. We’re in this together.

Jenny Smith is pastor of the Marysville United Methodist Church. Her column runs monthly.